Peace through order

oh, i remember where i saw this..it wasn't a religious thing. It was on a show about the Great seal on the back of the dollar bill.

What day is it?

I think it is Saturday. The days are all running together. With working form home and all the time off, I feel like it doesn't matter what day is what...time is just running together and...I kinda like it. :)

Gosh, how nice it would be not to have to go work every day. I could wake up, putter around, cook, clean, work out, play with Autumn and my stress level would be so much lower. I always realize that when I have time off. Work is a pretty stressful place. I kind thrive on making order out of stress though so I guess that is why I never have actually quit. My latest motto is "peace through chaos". After I made that up in my head, I read it somewhere about some kind of religion or something. It's true though...everything is peace through chaos. Work, parenthood, marriage, weather, health, our bodies, life!-everything...just over and over again-peace through chaos. You get the peace from going through the chaos and surviving it.

Anyway...

Autumn, Erik and I went bowling today! Omg, it was so much fun! Yesterday, we all went hiking in the snow down the street at a former campground. We really should have brought snowshoes. It was about 2 ft deep and hard to walk in. Again, SO much fun. Note, I am would not be an ideal person to have on your team if you were to choose teams for snow ball fighting. My aim is no good. Erik...well, he'd be good to have on your team.

Autumn is better but has a junky cough when she runs or exerts herself too much. She's been staying up late, waking up early and laughing alot. Today she filled some thing out that asked what her favorite thing about Christmas was. She wrote "being able to spend time together." I am truly loving having "our" daughter back. She gets so diluted with all the kids and crap from school.

We are watching Michelle's dog, Zion. He is such a good dog. He greeted Erik with a huge poo accident the other day but he is all better now. He's an old dog and doesn't put up with Roman's antics much. Roman doesn't put up with another dog much either but they will survive.

Well, off to the couch to chill with Autumn. I've been researching camping places on line forever now. I don't do NY resolutions but am going to make it a goal to go camping more this year-starting in April.

Peace!
Teresa

Christmas Eve

Well, we survived the storm. Power went out about 8:30 so we slept with sweatshirts and warm clothes. Erik drove to work and had to actually stop a few times because he couldn't see in front of this truck. When he got to work and opened the door, the wind blew it backward and now it is all messed up.

Power came back on later that day about 5pm.

The one day of no power was worse than the week we went without a couple of years ago. We had the woodstove then and it was dark but cozy. We are getting another one soon.

Autumn got sick later that night and has had a horrible fever and cough. She is on the mend but hasn't been able to go tromp around in the huge piles of snow outside.

I managed to get into work yesterday for the first time in days but am stuck home again today.

Here are some pictures of the snow outside.

oops, maybe not-need to install a driver for it to read the camera..will post 'em later.

Merry Christmas! And happy birthday to our pup. As Autumn will tell you, he turned 1 today.

Oh, Autumn got a letter from Santa. It was so official. I know who you are but am letting her play the game. Erik is encouraging while I just listen. Very nice letter :)

Teresa

Storm

There is suppose to be a huge storm this afternoon and night. Thelast time there was a storm this bad, we were out of power for a week. The time before that, a tree went through our roof. So..I am not feeling so great about this storm that's coming, espically since we don't have a woodstove anymore. We used it last time to keep us warm and cook on.

I haven't posted any pics for awhile because our computer died and I can't seem to get this extra one to read my external harddrive yet. Haven't put much effort into it though.

This computer came from Stephanie and has tons of pics on it. Here are some old ones of Autumn when she was younger. What a pretty girl! Erik and I NYE 1999, one of Erik, Jason and Tammy as kiddos and one Autumn will surely kill me over when she is older. She is actually smiling in this pic. This was her way of smiling for quite awhile...

Autumn

Autumn was "star student" last week. This means she got to bring in pictures to put on a billboard, art work and a questionare filled out about herself. Then on Friday, she explained it all in front of her class. Thankfully, I was able to make it. Erik was too! Should have seen her face glow when he walked in.

Of course, I don't have any pictures of it but her teacher loved all the baby pictures. It made me realize what a little girl she is now. Once those 2 front teeth are gone, she'll be all grown up. ok...ok..not really but it feels like that more and more each day.

She will still crawl up in my lap. Still cuddle up next to me when she sleeps. She even tries to "cry" when she gets a scrape, bump or cut. It is quite fine if she wants to cry but this cry is an attempted cry-like, "I am 3 and gonna have a melt down but am 6 and it's not really going to happen" type of cry.

She still has these same toes that are now just slightly bigger. Same little butt that she called ballons on her back and the same little giggely, smiley eyes.

I think the world knows that I would love to have another kiddo but probably won't. I had shy'd away from holding little ones for a few years because it was really hard to know I would never have another one of "my own". BUT-I am over that now. I LOVE holding babies!!! OMG, my little nephew Hudson!! I could hold him and watch him and stare at him for hours.

Children/life/babies are such miracles! I love watching them learn and I guess we don't see that as obviously with Autumn anymore. She seems so grown up but I know she is still learning..it's just counting by 2, 5, and 10s now instead of how to say her Ls or Rs or use the potty. I am sure there will be plenty of more firsts.

Once-before I had Autumn-I was at some airport killing time people watching. There was this lady with a baby in a sling, all tatto'd up, hair died black, long and goth. Maybe it was the sling that got me but I just thought..that is the parent I will be but I am SO not ready for that yet. I am not ready to have that baby strapped to my chest while I am carrying 3 other bags of stuff but I knew someday I would be. I have always wanted to be a parent more than anything else in the entire world. I remember telling my friends that when I do have a kid that they would probably never see me because once I had a kid, my life was ALL about that kid. They told me I was crazy...but that's the way it went and I wouldn't have it any other way! Ok, well...maybe she could have slept through the night before she was 3.

Here are some pics of her burning the sage the other night, all her Santa pictures and stuff.

Santa

Autumn wrote a letter to Santa this year...in June. She thanked him for working so hard and making Christmas happen in the wintertime. It was so sweet! She insisted on mailing it to him. We stuck it in the mail box addressed: "To Santa" in her 6 year old penmanship.

Occasionally, she asks if Santa has written back but he never has. I want to write her a letter from Santa and play along with the Santa game but I just can't get over the Santa myth. Her letter wasn't even asking for anything. It was just to tahnk him...such a cool kid we have. I've told her that I don't believe in Santa. Erik does though....and has convienced her to believe too.

I feel bad that she doesn't get to have the childhood belief in Santa but I just can't lie to my kid. I know..I know...some people don't see it as lying but I do and that's just where I'm at..

Although, I can't say I would object if somehow a letter ended up in our mailbox addressed to Autumn from Santa..

Decemeber

Well, we've been painting butcher paper for wrapping paper, getting presents, cooking, baking and all sorts of things. It's been fun. It has really only been Autumn and I since Erik is working or asleep but he is always off doing some hunting thing usually anyway so not too much different...

Tonight I had a split decision to burn some sage. Autumn and I walked around the house and brought it to each room (even the one Erik was sleeping in). Feels better. Probably a total mental thing but maybe those Indians were onto something. Maybe my 1/16th Indian was kicking in but I feel good!

I just don't know how to put the darn thing out!

Teresa